How am I going to forget and accept the death of someone I love so much?
Jimelina
I love my mother so much. She gave everything to us when she was alive. My father left us when I was 11 years old and she was left alone taking care of us. (I have four brothers and four sisters). She was afflicted by a rare disease and by the time that we are ready to give back the good life she has given us, she died. I was shattered and every time I remember her, I still feel the pain. It has been 11 years but I still can not accept. I miss her so much and sometimes feel guilty of not giving her the best when she was still alive.
it’s hard put it’s part of life we just have 2 deal with…….
acceptance is the key…..
You will never forget .SEEK professional help to b able to accept it.
You’ll never forget that person, but you need to release any guilt you’re feeling. If you believe in Heaven, and I hope you do, rejoice in the fact that she’s in a better place with a perfect body, and she’s happy. She wouldn’t want you to mourn for this length of time. Celebrate the good of what you had with her. She’s not coming back, and you have to accept that. Nothing will change it. If you’re a believer, you know you’ll see her again one day. Considering grief counseling. Consider writing a journal, call it Memoirs of Mom or something, and write it all out. Good luck and God bless!
Thats something that your never going to forget. Death happens and that is something you will learn to accept over time. She knew what your intentions were, even if you didn’t show them as much as you thought you should have. Death is always painful for the ones that are still here, but just remember that your mom isn’t feeling any pain and she isn’t suffering from any disease anymore. She’s happy in heaven looking down upon you. Don’t mourn for your loss but celebrate her life.
Don’t feel guilty because I’m sure your mom would not want you to feel that way…
Accept the fact that she is gone. However, come to think that she is now in a better place, enjoying what she had not enjoyed when she was alive.
She loves you and she wants you to be happy…
My dear, my heart goes out to you, I lost my sweet husband of nearly 30 years, it will be seven years this October, there is no time limit on grief. Hon, Just remember, your mother loved you and she would hate it so bad that you are suffering, If you believe in God, then you know she is in a better place and not suffering anymore. Please try to remember all of the good things, the happy times! Do not think that you didn’t give your best, we are all only human and we do the best we can and I know that you did, so try to think in your heart that you did..Ok?
You have to go on with your life, your mom did not choose to leave you, she didn’t want to, but she was ill…so please try to move on…don’t ever forget that you have been loved by her and she will remain in your heart forever and as long as you live well she still touches everyone. God Bless You and Yours!
You can’t feel guilty about your mother’s life because you were not responsible for her happiness. You need counselling to get over the guilt. You need to be able to move on. You were a child when your dad left and it had nothing to do with you. I am sure you mother got satisfaction from knowing that her children were well cared for and loved by her. Mother’s don’t need much more than that. You culd do nothing for her illness and you should be satisfied with that.
Get help to move on.
I don’t think that you will ever forget but i know that it may be hard to accept too. I haven’t had a experience like this but i can feel your pain. To be honest with you, I don’t think that TiME will heal a pain like this either. That’s your MOM and it’s a much HARDER bone to bite. I know that your mother would want for you to stay strong. Even though she’s not there with you physically, she’s there with you spiritually!!!! May God be with you and your family!!!
A professional, Christian counselor is a wonderful place to start your healing. 11 years of missing her must be hard. I sometimes use the analogy of a fossil to help me. A fossil wasn’t always a beautiful, serene, valuable work of nature. First, it was alive, but literally had it’s life snuffed out before it was it’s time. After years and layers of dirt, silt, mud, rock, heat, pressure, and lots of time, the once living object is discovered to have been preserved preciously and permanently. I can believe that the last 11 years have been filled with grief, regret, and maybe guilt…mixed with love, memories, and lessons passed on. I know you are thankful for the many memories that you have of her and perhaps journaling those memories, lessons, values, recipes, etc would help you create your own special closure. You can even have someone help you if you aren’t talented in that area. You can even journal on your pc…email format, and print them out and put them in a book…say everything you want to say and “do” all of the things you wanted to do. I believe that your mother is watching you and is admiring you affection for her. I promise you, she’s got it better than you where she is now:) Don’t feel sorry…feel priviledged that she was yours and you were hers! I’m sure she was/is very proud of you!
Remember ALL the GOOD time!
i am really sorry that the loss of your mother continues to affect u after all these years. u are suffering from profound unresolved grief and this happens when we cannot accept the finality of death. u would have wanted to do more for your mother but do u think she is unhappy that u were not able to? would she have been happier to have u do things for her or to turn out a good and decent person? think about the principles your mother lived by and see whether ur life reflects those principles. i think as she is watching over u from heaven she would be happy to know she raised u well.
just a thot:
5 years after my best friend died from AIDS complications i could not even mention her name. i went to grief counseling and was advised to write her a letter. among other things i told her that i was angry at her dying while i was abroad and that i would not forgive her for not sharing about her HIV status. i reminded her of all the things we used to do and i begged her to remind God that i needed another best friend. i felt silly writing the letter but i cried all my grief out when i read it to the counselor. i cant say am completely ok, but that was my point of healing. later i posted the letter without an address and felt so much better.
The last thing your mom would want is for you to feel guilty.The pain never goes away.Things don’t get ” better” they just get ” diffrent” I’m sure your mom knew how much you love her. Try to think of all the good times you shared.I know you must miss her so much. Just remember she’s in a place where she will never be sick or hurt.Hugs to you.
I do not think you will ever forget her death or life for that matter, and would you really want to? I’m so sorry for your loss. I am really close with my mum and could not imagine life without her. To accept her death can take a very long time. Everyone is different and you have to make sure that you have come to terms with her death, not tryingot measure yourself against other people.
Have you tried talking to your siblings about how your feeling? You are fortunate that you have such a large family to support you.
Try to focus on what you did for your mum, all the good memories you have of her and i think that your guilt should ease. You have to remember that your mother would have wanted you to live your life and would be proud of you for doing so, rather than limiting yourself on her account.
Unfortunately loss is a wound that only time can heal. I hope that you continue to deal with your loss as best you can. Good luck.
I am terribly sorry for your loss. Don’t even TRY to forget her, that would be the ultimate insult, besides, she was your Mom, you CAN’T forget her. You can get on with it though by concentrating on the good things that she brought into your life. I know it hurts like HEl*, but use the emotions constructively by turning them into a motivational force to honor her by doing the absolute best that you can with all that she has taught you. Don’t forget that you have loved ones who are alive, enjoy them every minute, because as you know, life is unpredictable.
i lost my mum just over a year ago to cancer and i still dont know how i carry on but u just do because thats what they would want you to do and i dont think we should forget even though it is painful its all memories and i know i worry that i cant remember what she sounded like and smelled like but the one thing i will alwasys know that makes it a bit easier is that she loved me even the bads bit of me
i am sorry for u honey but only thing u can is pray for her thats the only thing will help her and i wish days may let u forget dear
I know how you are feeling right now, believe me. It is unbearable to lose a family member that you love and need so much..
First of all, you need to realize that you will never forget her or her death. It will always be a part of you, because SHE is part of you.
Secondly, you are going to have to accept that there will be good days as well as bad ones. Don’t beat yourself up over it. There will be days that you will be down and depressed about her being gone. It’s human nature.
Finally, what is most important of all is that your mother would not want you to waste your life being sad about something you had no control over. Life is far too short to waste time being sad. You need to turn this into something positive! Spend time with other family members. Go volunteer someplace doing something your mother loved. Donate money to an organization in her honor.
There are plenty of things you can do to honor your mother. Of course, she knew that you loved her. There was never a doubt. That is part of being a mom — we all know that the kids love us.
I say get back into the swing of things. If your mama had the guts to raise that many kids on her own, then you are cut from good cloth. You have great potential to do many things to honor her…just get out there and do them!