If the problem on Wall Street was an actual disease affecting a human, what would it be?
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Would the economy be suffering from a flu? AIDS? Syphilis? What’s the most accurate metaphor?
And in this current crisis, what are the best ways I can make my checks stretch like giraffe necks? Thanks!

Diahreah.
The gvt keeps trying to put a diaper on it, but it keeps running out the sides.
Cancer. You can survive if you catch it early, cut it off and treatment thereafter.
To stretch your checks, buy only things you “need” not “want.” Find cheaper prices when you shop. Don’t charge credit card. Keep yourself debt free.
Leech infestation?
The Black Death.